that really stiffens my nipples — kingcandy: ideal ways to die: as a virgin...

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
kingcandy
kingcandy

ideal ways to die:

  • as a virgin sacrifice in a satanic clown ritual (keeping my virginity just for the opportunity)
  • dying in the lingerie section of kmart with fistfuls of comfortable and trendy joe boxer thongs
  • driving my camaro off a cliff and it exploding mid-air
  • any other way that is swift and soon
kingcandy

  • in the dumpster behind chuck e cheese strung out on cocaine and buried in broken animatronics parts and leftover pizza